Better Than Me
by RomeoAndJuliet
Summary: Set in "New Moon"... what does Edward do after he broke up with bella? EXB songfic hope you like it!


**A/N: it's a while that this songfic is in my mind so I finally decided to write it down! I'm not sure if this will be a one-shot or a real story with more chapters… tell me what you think and if you want I will write more! Hope you enjoy!**

**Better Than Me **

- Goodbye, Bella… - I said, keeping my voice peaceful.

- Wait! – Her voice choked with emotions while she was trying to reach for me. I reacted automatically, reaching for her too.

I shouldn't.

I leaned down and pressed my lips against her forehead. I didn't want to let go.

But I had to.

-…Take care of yourself. - And with this I wrenched myself away without looking back.

I ran to my car, as fast as possible even if I knew that she would never be able to reach me. I entered the car and started the engine. Before I left, I had a few more things to do.

But it was hard to concentrate. I couldn't describe how I felt inside: it was a chaos of emotions, thoughts, feelings… there were so many things that I liked to say to her but I didn't know how!

So, as for not hearing the agony that would probably torment me for the rest of my life, I turned on the radio… as if music could stop it? As soon as I did an instrumental intro started. Oh, no! Not that song! Even the radio is kidding me now!

"_**I think you can do much better than me…**_

That's sure! That's why I'm leaving… I won't endanger your life anymore.

_  
__**…After all the lies that I made you believe**_

_**Guilt kicks in and I start to see  
The edge of the bed  
Where your nightgown used to be  
I told myself I won't miss you  
But I remember  
What it feels like beside you**_

_**I really miss your hair in my face  
And the way your innocence tastes  
And I think you should know this  
You deserve much better than me  
**_

At that point I was already at Bella's place. I must take all memories of me away from her. Like I told her that was the last time she saw me.

It will be as if I'd never existed!

I've promised this… it's the least that I can do, even if I know that it will be so hard to forget everything. To forget her.

_  
__**While looking through your old box of notes  
I found those pictures I took  
That you were looking for  
If there's one memory I don't want to lose  
That time at the mall  
You and me in the dressing room**_

_  
_In few seconds I gathered all the presents I gave her and all the photos. But while I was bringing all the objects in my car I stopped. Why take them away? The most important thing is that she isn't able to see them! In the end I 

decided to hide them from her so I removed a board of her wood floor. In that way it will be as if a part of me will always be with her watching over her instead of me.

_**I told myself I won't miss you  
But I remember  
What it feels like beside you  
**_

_**I really miss your hair in my face  
And the way your innocence tastes  
And I think you should know this  
You deserve much better than me**_

I was almost forgetting… I don't think she will be back home soon… I wrote Charlie a message so he will find out where she is. I know her well enough to tell that in this moment she is still there in the forest. I hope she won't do anything stupid… anything like Bella… _****_

The bed I'm lying in is getting colder  
Wish I never would've said it's over  
And I can't pretend... I won't think about you when I'm older  
Cause we never really had our closure  
This can't be the end

Bella I love you more than my own existence and I don't believe that anybody has ever felt the way I do about you so I have to keep this pledge. You saved me with your love and now it's my turn to do something right for you. That's the only way I know to save you from anything that could hurt you. Victoria, the others vampires but especially me! I'm so dangerous even if I know that you will never admit it… so I hope you won't hold a grudge against me, please forgive me!_  
_

_**I really miss your hair in my face  
And the way your innocence tastes  
And I think you should know this  
You deserve much better than me  
**_

Maybe you're waiting for someone… someone better than me.


End file.
